Divorce is a pretty serious issue. Children are likely to suffer and experience negative consequences due to divorce. Handling divorce and the situation carefully can build a child's resilience and ability to bounce back.

4 tips when you decide to tell your kids about divorce:

1. Plan ahead. Plan what you're going to tell your kids, how and possibly even where. This isn't something that you can just talk about at any time. As much as possible be united and talk with your co-parent.
2. Tell everyone together. There should be no secrets left out from other family members. Leaving one child out could possibly make them seem like it was their fault in some way. It can also lead to dividing the family even further. Answer all questions that they might ask and be curious about. This is a big change for kids.
3. Let kids react in their own way. Some kids might be upset immediately, some might even be happy that the fighting is over, or other kids might not have a reaction at all. This kind of information takes time to process and they will process it when they are ready. If they are angry, let them be angry and express their feelings rather than having to hold it in. 
4. Make sure your kids know that it is not their fault. Tell them the truth. You will have to adapt language to appropriate developmental age, but keep it simple and honest. Again, remind them that parents don't get divorced from kids, only from each other.

4 tips for handling divorce and making the smoothest transition possible:
1. Afterwards be as much of a team as possible as parents. Take co-parenting classes and be as cooperative as you possibly can for your children. Fighting in front of them can have lasting consequences and involving them in any of these issues and making them side with one parent over another is completely inappropriate. Your kids want you both in their life as much as possible. They don't want to be messengers for the other parent and they certainly don't want to hear negative things about the other parent. This might be very difficult but will be completely worth it in the long run to decrease other negative effects of divorce on kids.
2. Create a regular routine immediately so your children can start to adjust to the changes.
3. When time has passed monitor your children. Listen to them with their thoughts and questions. Look for signs of depression afterwards such as behavioral issues and outbursts, grades falling, isolating, etc. Take them to a licensed therapist who can help them through this process. 
4. Not only with your children, but take care of yourself. Kids are incredibly sensitive to their parents feelings and mental health. Even the youngest children are aware that something is wrong. Get help yourself as well! Find support of friends, take part in regular self-care to boost your mood and mental health or possibly see a licensed therapist as well.

Resources:

Mom and Dad Have Something to Tell You
Children and Divorce
9 Things to Consider
How Can Divorce Affect My Kids?
Helping Kids Through Divorce
Age by Age Guide to Children and Divorce

Due to our busy lives, the first thing that becomes neglected is our own self-care. We have to get up early, take our kids to this place, possibly go to work, come back home and continue to work by cooking dinner and cleaning the house. By the time this is done it's already time to go to bed and prepare for the next day! 

Results of skipping self-care. The less we take care of ourselves the easier it is to become stressed. Increased stress and/or fatigue leads to increased illnesses and sicknesses, headache, stomach problems, sleep difficulties, depression and anxiety.

What is self-care exactly? Self-care is making sure to take care of your physical, mental, emotional well-being. Physical self-care could be things such as getting sleep, eating appropriately, exercise, getting proper medical attention and go to check-ups. Emotional and mental self-care could be journaling, relaxing, helping and serving others, or doing something else that you truly enjoy. Other ways of self-care might be turning your cell phone off for a short period of time, say no if you feel you are stretched too thin, spend time with supportive and uplifting people, and spend more time on leisure activities.

How do I start to integrate this into my life? All self-care takes is about 15-30 minutes a day. I am sure that there are a few things that you could cut out of your day in order to start to take care of yourself. It's also important to remember that in order to take care of someone else, you have to take care of yourself first. Sometimes it's ok to be selfish and take care of number one first.

Being the first week of January, most people are working on "New Year's Resolutions." Everyone wants to start the new year with a fresh start. Resolutions are difficult though and a lot of times, things fall flat - maybe even before January is over. Self-talk after this happens is "it's too late" and "it's over" and "why bother?"

Why do we do this? How do we break this cycle?

It’s time to look at your resolutions. Maybe the first step might be to stop calling them resolutions and call them something else. I personally think resolutions becomes a daunting term that most of us know we will never complete. First, call them 'short term' or 'long term goals.'

The second issue is having too many resolutions. We want to be perfect and we want it now! So we have these great things that we want to happen, but honestly it's too much. Break things down and for the first few months at least, just focus on three girls. Once you feel that these are things you have mastered, later in the year work on something else.

Third step is to make your goal measurable. Make it so you can see the change as you go. Or break a larger goal down into achievable steps. This helps to make it seem less daunting or impossible. My goals are always too broad and I become easily overwhelmed by it. 

For example, my number one resolution is always to exercise. That’s a great goal “to exercise” but it doesn’t mean anything. What is my end result? How will I know when I’ve achieved this goal? My personal goal is to exercise at least 5 days a week. To make it more measurable, I’m first going to say “Exercise 15 minutes a day for one week.” That’s something small and entirely achievable. After I’ve achieved that I can increase it to 30 minutes a day and so forth and until I get into a better habit of exercising on a daily basis. 

Fourth step is to make sure to reward yourself for each of your small achievements on your way to your larger goal. So for my example of exercising, after I achieve a week’s worth of exercises I’m going to reward myself and celebrate any success no matter how small. We tend to not give ourselves enough credit for the things that we do achieve. Celebrating your successes will help keep you motivated to your larger goal. 

So what happens if I still can’t make my goal? If somehow I haven’t been able to achieve my smaller goal, this time around I’m not going to give up. I believe in second chances, and that includes for myself. Just start again, and remember to start small! One mistake or a bad week doesn’t mean failure. Just pick up right where you left off.

My number one advice is just to believe in yourself and never give up. Good luck!