Now that we are approaching the end of the holiday season, it is always important to remain grateful - especially for your mental health. Several sources, have identified why it is so important to have that attitude of gratitude and the number of benefits that it might lead to. I have listed 8 below. 

1. Gratitude can help build relationships. Thanking people leads to more ongoing and longer-lasting relationships. It can also build more opportunities in a work environment.

2. Gratitude can improve physical health. According to an article in Forbes, gratitude is proven to decrease aches and pains.

3. Gratitude will always improve mental health. Gratitude can help you to manage your emotions by increasing happiness and decreasing feelings of depression or sadness.

4. Gratitude can help you sleep better. As seen in the same article in Forbes, spending 15 minutes before bed can can help you sleep longer and better.

5. Gratitude improves self-esteem and self-confidence. Focusing more on others and being more appreciative actually takes the focus off of yourself which increases and builds self-confidence.

6. Gratitude increases your lifespan. Due to all the physical and mental benefits, being more grateful can actually lengthen and add years to your life. 

7. Gratitude can help build energy levels. People who are more grateful tend to have more energy, exercise more and give you that extra boost that you may be in need of.

8. Gratitude is linked with a better immune system. An article in Huffington Post identifies research through WebMD that states gratitude will help you be more healthier overall and help fight diseases.

10 Reasons Why Gratitude Is Healthy
The 31 Benefits of Gratitude You Didn't Know About: How Gratitude Can Change Your Life
7 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Gratitude That Will Motivate You To Give Thanks Year-Round



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According to a statistic done by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), about 64% of people experience Holiday Blues at some point, 24% of them experience major Holiday Blues. It's ok to be that person! Just because it's the holidays, does not mean everything will be perfect. People experience Holiday Blues for several reasons: extra stress, loneliness because you are alone or unable to be with family, less sunlight, too much alcohol at parties, etc.

What are symptoms of Holiday Blues? It is very similar to depression, but more temporary. Symptoms can be fatigue, tension, frustration, feeling loneliness or isolation, sadness, a sense of loss, and a lack of energy. 

However short term, taking care of the Holiday Blues is incredibly important. Below is a list of 10 things you can do to manage your Holiday Blues.

1. Acknowledge your feelings! Don't ignore them.
1. Keep a regular routine.
2. Getting enough sleep.
3. Self-care and taking time for yourself whatever that may be.
4. Drink alcohol in moderation.
5. Exercise - such as taking a short walk.
6. Keep reasonable expectations for holiday activities like cooking, gifting, and partying.
7. Listen to music that boosts your mood.
8. Use relaxation techniques.
9. Reach out to appropriate supports that might be nearby or connect with those often that are too far.
10. Learn how to say no to things.

Useful links below:
Managing Holiday Blues - NAMI
Holiday Stress Management - Mayo Clinic
Holiday Blues - Huffington Post

When I was researching quotes for the last blog I ran into another one:

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi 

This quote reminded me of a simple tool that everyone can use to try to experience more happiness or change negative emotions into positive emotions.

In the past I have explained a little bit about cognitive behavioral therapy. Here is a different explanation that will also help you to manage moods, thoughts and behaviors as well. Below is a visual explanation.


















On top is our thoughts. Those are typically that is most noticeable when trying to understand what is going on. Our thoughts are so powerful and create a filter that affects how we see everything and as a result, how we feel. On the bottom of the triangle is feelings and behaviors, which again, are affected by our thoughts as well. Everything is all related to one another 

To put it all together here is an example that everyone might be able to relate to. You walk into a room by yourself and see everyone congregating in the corner and talking. When you walk closer the conversation stops. Two options are possible - One: Most people often jump to the conclusion that "They are talking about me. They are saying negative things about me. They don't like me. I should leave." Those are the automatic negative thoughts that often happen. The resulting feelings can be inferior, alone, afraid, and worthless. The behavior that can result is you stand there and not participate in the conversation or you might even listen to yourself leave. 

The second possibility is you can change the automatic negative thoughts that are happening. Instead of thinking negatively you can think something like this "They want to include me in the conversation. They were waiting for me. I can just jump in to this conversation too. I am happy to be here." The feelings from these thoughts are the exact opposite of what happened with the negative thoughts - happiness, excitement, and joy. The behavior that happens is probably smiling, engaging with other people and being outgoing. 

We have absolutely no evidence to support any of our negative thoughts, so the best way to go will always be positive so you don't have to miss our on a perfectly good opportunity! 

The best part about the triangle is that it can be flipped. Any side can be on top and any of the three parts can be changed in order to change your feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Relating this back to the quote - you really do need all of them to be aligned in order to feel true happiness and be able to change your whole being to be more positive.  

All of us deal with many stressors on a daily basis. Some stressors are more difficult to handle than others. On occasion, we lose control and enter a downward spiral; our stress seems to be too much to handle. For those times when your stressors are overwhelming, here is an activity that will help you see you have more control than you think.

1. Get a sheet of paper

2. Draw a line down the middle of your paper

3. On the left side write a list of your stressors. Below are some examples.

a.     Finances
b.     Relationship difficulties
c.     Household tasks such as cooking, cleaning
d.     Work stress
e.     Health related issues
f.      Etc…

4. Look at your list and circle the ones that you can control

Not much to circle is there? Most people find that very few stressors are really within their control. A lot of our stressors happen and are completely out of our control.

5. On the right side of your paper write at least one coping skill/problem solving skills or ways you can handle each stressor you wrote on the left side. An example is below.

a.     Learn to budget, keep practicing, don't give up when if it doesn't work out the first time
b.     Set boundaries, walk away
c.     Make a plan or check list, take breaks
d.     Take breaks and get up to stretch
e.     Go to appointments, take medication as directed, relaxation tips
f.      Etc…

6. Now circle what you can control.

All of them right? The purpose of this exercise is to take control of your stress and understand that it doesn't have to be completely overwhelming. While the events may be out of your control, there are elements of each stressor you can control again.

Did this turn things back in your favor? Hopefully this gives you more power over your stressors and gives you a little more hope when dealing with stressful situations. I have personally completed this activity many times and feel a little more relieved each time about my stressors. Repeat this activity as often as you need because stressors change all the time as well as coping skills.

Take control of your stress, don’t let it control you!

And p.s. You CAN do it!