Candace Sam, LICSW
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School Coping Skills/Fidget Box

4/11/2016

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National Play Therapy Week 2016!

2/8/2016

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We're celebrated Play Therapy this week! I thought I would share a little about what I know and why I do what I do! 

I know I've posted this video before through twitter and other social media outlets, but for those of you who have not watched it, I encourage you to do so and explore more about Play Therapy. It's not a traditional "talk therapy" but this is exactly why it works. “Play is the child’s language.” (Association of Play Therapy). Children learn and explore through play. I believe an appropriate way to process traumatic events or intense feelings is through this technique. Therapy in general is about meeting people where they are at. Children have not yet developed that level of processing or verbal skills to explain what they are feeling, but instead play it out. Play is where children are at.


For more information visit Association for Play Therapy's Parents Corner!
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12 Tips For a New School Year

7/29/2015

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.Net
The school year is quickly approaching again! This was the most exciting time of the year for me as a child, but starting a new school year can also be very anxiety provoking for a lot of kids. Here are 12 tips to hopefully make that transition as smooth as possible for your kids.

  1. Ask about their feelings. Are they happy, excited, scared, nervous? Ask questions and really listen to their school experience. Empathize with them where appropriate and reflect and repeat back what they are saying. Understand where the struggles might be so you can step in where needed.

  2. Meet the new teacher if possible before school starts. Most teachers will be absolutely thrilled and excited to schedule a 1:1 session with their kids. This will help to ease a child into a new school year and ease the anxiety and tension they might be experiencing. They can familiarize themselves with their new surroundings and get that comfort before the first day. 

  3. Normalize the nervousness. Everyone gets nervous before the first day of school. Even the kids the love it, still get nervous. It's the fear of the unknown about your teacher, the other students, the work, the environment - completely normal! Most kids worry they are the only ones experiencing this though and are afraid to talk about it.  

  4. Share your own experiences. This relates directly back to the previous statement. Share your own experiences with them and times when you might have been nervous as well. Sometimes it helps to hear how someone else might have handled the situation.

  5. Find someone that might be in their class. If possible find them a friend. This might be possible in your meeting with the teacher. Find a class list and find someone that you can have them meet. Or if you're lucky enough, someone they know and are comfortable with themselves. It helps to face something new if you've got a friend by your side. 

  6. Find an appropriate “good bye.” Often times "good bye" can be a trigger for kids. It seems so final. For those anxious kids it might be better to say "see you later" or even more specifically "see you at 3." 

  7. If possible walk them directly in the first day. This is clearly meant for younger children. If at all possible, walk them in directly and that cuts down on the anxiety that happens in the mornings with all the chaos of other children and not knowing what you're supposed to do on the first day.

  8. Let them pick their own school supplies. School was by far the best part of getting ready for school. I got to pick my own things and build my own confidence through being an individual. Letting them be directly involved in the process helps get them more comfortable as well as builds confidence.

  9. Facilitate independence. By this I mean be more of a parent facilitating problem solving rather than problem fixing. Don't be the parent that jumps in to fix things, help them identify possible solutions to their problem and pick the best answer for them. Jumping in, especially with school problems, is a natural response but kids need to build their skills and learn to be independent. 

  10. Don't cry at drop off. As a parent, we all experience the natural sadness of a child growing up and realizing they don't need us as much anymore. Our emotions and crying at drop off can actually cause more anxiety for your children who are very sensitive to parent needs and feelings. It's ok to cry, just wait until after they've gone.

  11. Be the example. Be a positive example for your kids especially in social situations. Let them see you introducing yourself to new parents and showing that confidence. Children watch everything we do and directly learn from our example. It might not seem like it, but they see everything. You being confident will help them build their own confidence and appropriate social skills.

  12. Become involved in their school experience. I am a working mom and pretty busy, but when my daughter starts school I will absolutely make time to be to school with her. Become involved through PTA or volunteering in a classroom. When they are older let them know you support them by going to all their activities. Make the necessary time for them to show them they are your number one.
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Just play!

4/24/2015

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At the beginning of the week I posted a great article about just playing with children. According to a study done by Kansas State University, children do actually learn through playing with their parents. Children can learn about courage, learn they are capable, learn to connect and learn to count.

It's important as parents to spend that one on one time with them without devices and without interruptions so they will be happier and develop into a "mentally healthy adult."

In the spirit of summer coming up, I found several very interesting activities you can do with your children at home! Check out my pinterest page entitled "Kids Stuff" to see activities such as filling eggs with paint and throwing them at canvas, making moon sand, doing ice chalk during the summer, flight school, and sharpie dishes. Important activities with your kids are such that inspire creativity, imagination, and possibly cooperation with others or independent worked. Please leave comments of activities you enjoy with your kids! 

Pinterest page: https://www.pinterest.com/candycane881/kid-stuff/

Referenced article: http://psychcentral.com/news/2015/04/19/improve-parenting-skills-by-remembering-how-to-play/83720.html#.VTWP4NxR_So.facebook
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Why Play Therapy?

4/8/2015

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“Play is the child’s language.” (Association of Play Therapy)

Play therapy is therapy through the use of toys and playing. Toys are used as a language for children to teach and explore. The purpose of play therapy is to express feelings, work on behaviors and learn appropriate problem-solving and decision making skills. Play therapy also helps kids learn to socialize and relate more to others.

Play therapy closes the communication gap. Younger children are not developed enough to express exactly how they are feeling through languages. What they are saying is expressed and explored through themes that might develop during play therapy. For example, a child who has been in a car accident may crash cars together. Similarly a child experiencing a divorce in the family, issues are seen in how the toys communicate with each other possibly through arguing or yelling.

Play therapy works by children exploring and “playing out” different scenarios until they have resolved or “processed” what is going on. Children are also able to take on different, various roles in plays such as a victim or a super hero. Children are encouraged to play out scenarios in a safe place. Play therapy encourages expression with as few limits as possible. Play therapy research shows this mostly benefits children ages 3 to 12, but play therapy also has beneficial elements that can be used with adolescents and adults. 


Why do I choose play therapy? I personally love play therapy because I’ve seen it work. Kids are much more willing to sit down with providers if they are on the same level. Most kids are unable to sit down and “talk it out” for an entire hour. Play therapy invites a more relaxed setting and can deepen a relationship with the therapist by letting them into the child's world. Play is a child's work, and what better way to work on mental health than using their language.

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